I finally ended today a destructive affair that has lasted over two years! Looking back, I can’t believe the depths I have sank over the past two years.
I doubt that anyone will read this blog. Mostly I see this as a journal to help me with my recovery. I will also look back at what happened and try to figure out where I went wrong.
My story is too long to relate in one post. I will probably share details as I re-evaluate what happened.
My thoughts are scattered. I apologize if this post seems to be a random mess.
I have experienced the range of emotions from relief to utter depression. Even though I ended it, I can’t believe that it is over. I have been crying most the day. My poor husband doesn’t know what is wrong with me.
Should I tell him the truth? Or would that just unnecessarily hurt him?
I don’t know. Those questions can wait. I just need to get through the night.
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I wish I had the answers for you...I really do. All I can say is to keep your chin up, you've already made the most difficult step, in ending it.
ReplyDeleteI'll be here to read your story.
Wow....curious to read what happened. I can't tell you what to do at home...but I can merely suggest that you think on that a long while before making a decision, weighing out all consequences and how everyone in your life will be affected.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
CW
Thanks for the comments. I plan to use this blog as a why to sort through my feelings.
ReplyDeleteAs one who has been in your shoes, I say, DO NOT tell him. There is nothing good to come out of that. Honesty is not the best policy in this area. With that said, I look forward to following along with you and hearing of your story.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I have not decided if I will tell my husband. In a sense, I think he already knows. But he likes denial.
ReplyDeleteAmy, Have you considered some sort of counseling? Since you are a woman of faith, is there a minister that you trust to share this with? You may wish to seek out psychological counseling.
ReplyDeleteI know that when I went through a rough time a little over a year ago, talking to both a counselor and a minister helped me alot.
Also, I have to echo the other commenters, do not say anything to Jeff at this time. This is a topic that I would discuss with the counselors.
Good luck with what ever you do.
SingleOne
Thanks. I am in counseling. And this blog is part of my feelings journal to help me gain perspective and insight. My counselor was skeptical at first, but she thought it would be OK as long as it was anonymous. As such, I have changed all the names. I will also be careful not to reveal any details that could identify the people involved.
ReplyDeleteBut that really is probably an academic point. I doubt many people will read this blog. But that is OK. This blog is for me.
well Im glad you stopped by. I enjoyed reading the blog and would like to hear more of this story...I think your comment to me summs it up..."How much did he know." Probably a lot....my guess....but like the others have said, dont tell him...You might just tell him you were on the net and read a blog about a husband whose wife has sex with other men and just see what reaction you get...You may even say, "How you would feel if I did?" stop by was nice having you
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog. I'm a current cheater, who I guess you can say is "happily cheating" at this time. But I am interested to hear your story and why you continued an affair for so long with a man that didn't treat you very well.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to blogging!
I stayed with him for the same reason an alcoholic drinks.
ReplyDeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteI have to agree that you shouldn't come right out and tell him. He probably suspects something, but he really doesn't want to know. I like bdenied's suggestion about saying you read a really hot blog (maybe even mine) and see what his reaction is. Be careful.
QM
That is true QuietMan. Denial is a powerful thing.
ReplyDelete